Y
our Position as Supervisor (Continue)
Teamwork Function
“One step with 100 people much better than 100 step with one person”.
Koichi Tsukamot, President Wacoal Corp.
Characteristic a the good team are :
1. Have clear target.
2. Commitment.
3. Equipping skill.
4. Backup each other.
Delegation Function
This is the most important if you want your career step ahead. As far there is no your substitute, you can not up your career grade.
This point of delegation :
1. Effort and result.
2. Resposible delegation.
3. Person in charge.
If supervisor appreciate staff, you will have good staff quality.
Supervisor and Manager
Supervisor is become connection between management and staff (low grade). As manager, they like relation between supervisor with staff, but more scope of responsible.
What kind supervisor will substitute manager :
1. Understand the duty of manager.
2. Have Good communication.
3. Help for solving problem
Do the best and fast for problem solving.
Follower ship
There is 5 kind of this, as supervisor you must learn characteristic people your lead :
1. Sheep : They do minimally job, passive, not critical, less initiative
and responsible.
2. Yes sir : Some weak supervisor like this person cause every word
and order they never complain and will do it. They have not
initiative. Characteristic of this will destroy supervisor slowly, cause
when supervisor make wrong decision there is no man will warning.
3. Alienated : Critical thinking, independent but passive. They good to
critical some job condition but they will be cause the problem if they
suggestion not apply.
4. Survivors : They decision will depend base on where the wind blow.
They are ppportunist Person or we call “ safety player”. Just be
careful, because they have good adaptive Skill, sometime they
cannot keep statement.
5. Effective : They active, independent and critical thingking. This will
the person that you must looking cause this person will have good
analysis and have principle for them selves.
M Arief Gustianto
Showing posts with label Personality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Personality. Show all posts
Monday, March 2, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Your Position as Supervisor
Y
our Position as Supervisor. Supervisor is just the step for you become the great leader, this is same with any position of leader but the difference is a number person that you lead. Maybe as supervisor, you lead 4 until 8 peoples. The Function of supervisor is for the connection between staff (low grade) with management and you will be the person in charge if your manager obstructive.
In supervisor position, you must develop communication skill because your job is more on human relation. You must try to develope your conceptual skill too, you will join the team who will make policy or important decision for your company.
Your job as the conceptual making, covering : controlling, coordination, planning and delegation.
As controller, you will be the person who control all job of your staff, you will need some data to do evaluation process for making a good team performance. Be aware of that data, cause the decision to make some job planning will be on the data.
As coordinator, you become the person lead the team to do some job.
Human relation skill need to develope cause you need to motivate your staff and do the negotiation with other department or division for make easy activity job. This will be the frequently job will you do.
On technical skill, you will be claim as analysis technical, this need from your experience on operational technical.
As supervisor, your main job are to make success team job with your staff as the operational job, to delegate and sharing your knowledge and skill to your staff and develop yourself to more skillful.
Leadership Function.
There are some kind of communication, as supervisor you need to train interpersonal communication and group communication skill. In interpersonal communication, you can applying approach personal, this is will help you when your team have some conflict, I think this skill will big effect to solve problem. Because of that as leader you must be wisdom to choose some word, as leader, action more effective than words.
As leader, you must be the one to lead the way of your team. This need for bring team to move and fight together for same vision.
Supervisor must have :
1. Vision.
2. Assure with the vision.
3. Responsible with team.
Supervisor must know priority of job and know how to get the job target.
Next article, will tell about relation supervisory and manager.
M. Arief Gustianto
our Position as Supervisor. Supervisor is just the step for you become the great leader, this is same with any position of leader but the difference is a number person that you lead. Maybe as supervisor, you lead 4 until 8 peoples. The Function of supervisor is for the connection between staff (low grade) with management and you will be the person in charge if your manager obstructive.
In supervisor position, you must develop communication skill because your job is more on human relation. You must try to develope your conceptual skill too, you will join the team who will make policy or important decision for your company.
Your job as the conceptual making, covering : controlling, coordination, planning and delegation.
As controller, you will be the person who control all job of your staff, you will need some data to do evaluation process for making a good team performance. Be aware of that data, cause the decision to make some job planning will be on the data.
As coordinator, you become the person lead the team to do some job.
Human relation skill need to develope cause you need to motivate your staff and do the negotiation with other department or division for make easy activity job. This will be the frequently job will you do.
On technical skill, you will be claim as analysis technical, this need from your experience on operational technical.
As supervisor, your main job are to make success team job with your staff as the operational job, to delegate and sharing your knowledge and skill to your staff and develop yourself to more skillful.
Leadership Function.
There are some kind of communication, as supervisor you need to train interpersonal communication and group communication skill. In interpersonal communication, you can applying approach personal, this is will help you when your team have some conflict, I think this skill will big effect to solve problem. Because of that as leader you must be wisdom to choose some word, as leader, action more effective than words.
As leader, you must be the one to lead the way of your team. This need for bring team to move and fight together for same vision.
Supervisor must have :
1. Vision.
2. Assure with the vision.
3. Responsible with team.
Supervisor must know priority of job and know how to get the job target.
Next article, will tell about relation supervisory and manager.
M. Arief Gustianto
Monday, February 9, 2009
Developing Successful Leadership Practices
D
eveloping Successful Leadership Practices
Successful leadership practices and professional business management skills are proficiencies that develop over time. Certainly, some people are born leaders, but there are certain areas that can be concentrated on to develop leadership skills.
Mahatma Gandhi once said "If I have the belief that I can do it, I will surely acquire the capacity to do it, even if I may not have it at the beginning".
Good leadership starts with a solid and clearly defined leadership philosophy. Why? Because your personal leadership philosophy defines a set of beliefs that determine how you react to people and situations.
Jim Collins and Jerry Porras describe the key components of a leadership philosophy in their book Built to Last. At the core of a leadership philosophy they place a set of beliefs or ideologies. It is important to define these for yourself to understand your leadership philosophy. The three belief systems Collins and Porras define are what you believe about people, what you believe about life and what you believe makes groups and organisations effective. These systems are expressed in your values and ultimately shape how you behave and your leadership style.
Martin Glenn is a leadership expert and brand guru with demonstrable experience and expertise. He and his team took Walkers Snack Foods from a relatively small regional operation to the most well-known supermarket brand in the UK in just five years. By 2005, Walkers occupied 45% of the £2-billion salty snacks industry in the UK. Today as the CEO of PepsiCo UK (the parent company of Walkers), Glenn has been tasked with making Pepsi a household name in the UK.
Martin Glenn has had excellent teams behind him that have aided in his success. And while quality of product, branding marketing and distribution are the hallmarks of Walkers crisps' success - his account of this turnaround reveals many valuable lessons about successful business leadership practices, and his personal leadership philosophies.
In an eBook entitiled Successful Leadership in Practice, Glenn distils the many leadership lessons he's learned along the way. These include advice about managing teams and creativity, when to let go, an uncompromising commitment to quality and excellence and engagement with every employee.
Martin Glenn provides some clear lessons in successful leadership practices. For example, he says that in addition to having a clear leadership philosophy - it's also important to know your business inside and out. A mistake many people in management positions make is just viewing the world from their desks. Solely relying on data is a big mistake - and it's advisable to get out into the field yourself to see what's really going on. While you're out there, make time to talk to people. This is one way to elicit information from them which can provide ways to improve or innovate.
He goes on to say that great business leadership strategies should not only keep people motivated, but also ensure that the business stays fresh and keeps moving forward. This does not mean that you should change for change's sake - this can be fatal to a brand that has been established over time. However, when marketing a product keep things extra-ordinary. This will ensure that people don't stop talking about your product or business.
Another lesson is that taking time to engage with every employee is vital to excellence in leadership. It's a well-established fact that deeper relationships and open internal communication channels with employees make every member of an organisation not only feel more valued and empowered, but also motivated to do their job better and to make decisions that are in the best interest of the organisation.
Finally, and this may be a shocker - it's not all about profit! In Martin Glenn's example with Walkers crisps, yes, the profits doubled in five years but this was not the initial objective. This was just a natural result of the way things developed because of Glenn's focus on doing his job properly and a focus on growth.
Certainly taking these lessons in successful leadership practices on board can only improve your leadership skills, enabling you to motivate teams and take your business to new heights in the knowledge that you have a solid foundation on which to build.
About The Author:
Shoulders of Giants features expert discussions by thought leaders and experts in their industries on topics relating to smart business thinking such as successful leadership practices.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jonathan_G_Andrews
eveloping Successful Leadership Practices
Successful leadership practices and professional business management skills are proficiencies that develop over time. Certainly, some people are born leaders, but there are certain areas that can be concentrated on to develop leadership skills.
Mahatma Gandhi once said "If I have the belief that I can do it, I will surely acquire the capacity to do it, even if I may not have it at the beginning".
Good leadership starts with a solid and clearly defined leadership philosophy. Why? Because your personal leadership philosophy defines a set of beliefs that determine how you react to people and situations.
Jim Collins and Jerry Porras describe the key components of a leadership philosophy in their book Built to Last. At the core of a leadership philosophy they place a set of beliefs or ideologies. It is important to define these for yourself to understand your leadership philosophy. The three belief systems Collins and Porras define are what you believe about people, what you believe about life and what you believe makes groups and organisations effective. These systems are expressed in your values and ultimately shape how you behave and your leadership style.
Martin Glenn is a leadership expert and brand guru with demonstrable experience and expertise. He and his team took Walkers Snack Foods from a relatively small regional operation to the most well-known supermarket brand in the UK in just five years. By 2005, Walkers occupied 45% of the £2-billion salty snacks industry in the UK. Today as the CEO of PepsiCo UK (the parent company of Walkers), Glenn has been tasked with making Pepsi a household name in the UK.
Martin Glenn has had excellent teams behind him that have aided in his success. And while quality of product, branding marketing and distribution are the hallmarks of Walkers crisps' success - his account of this turnaround reveals many valuable lessons about successful business leadership practices, and his personal leadership philosophies.
In an eBook entitiled Successful Leadership in Practice, Glenn distils the many leadership lessons he's learned along the way. These include advice about managing teams and creativity, when to let go, an uncompromising commitment to quality and excellence and engagement with every employee.
Martin Glenn provides some clear lessons in successful leadership practices. For example, he says that in addition to having a clear leadership philosophy - it's also important to know your business inside and out. A mistake many people in management positions make is just viewing the world from their desks. Solely relying on data is a big mistake - and it's advisable to get out into the field yourself to see what's really going on. While you're out there, make time to talk to people. This is one way to elicit information from them which can provide ways to improve or innovate.
He goes on to say that great business leadership strategies should not only keep people motivated, but also ensure that the business stays fresh and keeps moving forward. This does not mean that you should change for change's sake - this can be fatal to a brand that has been established over time. However, when marketing a product keep things extra-ordinary. This will ensure that people don't stop talking about your product or business.
Another lesson is that taking time to engage with every employee is vital to excellence in leadership. It's a well-established fact that deeper relationships and open internal communication channels with employees make every member of an organisation not only feel more valued and empowered, but also motivated to do their job better and to make decisions that are in the best interest of the organisation.
Finally, and this may be a shocker - it's not all about profit! In Martin Glenn's example with Walkers crisps, yes, the profits doubled in five years but this was not the initial objective. This was just a natural result of the way things developed because of Glenn's focus on doing his job properly and a focus on growth.
Certainly taking these lessons in successful leadership practices on board can only improve your leadership skills, enabling you to motivate teams and take your business to new heights in the knowledge that you have a solid foundation on which to build.
About The Author:
Shoulders of Giants features expert discussions by thought leaders and experts in their industries on topics relating to smart business thinking such as successful leadership practices.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jonathan_G_Andrews
The 10 Steps to Learning From Your Past Mistakes
T
he 10 Steps to Learning From Your Past Mistakes
I've written before about how I strongly believe that in life you should have no regrets. Quite simply you cannot change what has gone before so why waste time regretting what you cannot alter? But that's not to say that you should ignore the things you have done in the past that went wrong or those occasions when you made mistakes. Instead you should always be prepared to learn from them and so take something positive from all of your experiences.
So I'm going to ask you to look back, just for a moment. Bring to mind something from your past where things went wrong or you believe you made a mistake or failed to achieve what you wanted to do. It may even be that something continues to play on your mind and so possibly prevents you from doing today the things that you really desire. You may have to go back to your childhood or it could just as easily be something that happened in the last week that it is still really bugging you.
Whatever it is be open and honest with yourself and then follow these 10 simple steps:
Step 1
Write down exactly what happened with as much detail as you can. Be precise and try not to let any feelings you have about the incident cause you to edit or leave out important facts.
Step 2
Define what part you had in the incident. What actions did you take, were they deliberate acts, or were they things you were persuaded or even forced to do by someone else?
Step 3
Define who else was involved and what they actually did. It's important to be completely honest and, for instance, identify whether someone may have prevented you from doing something or perhaps tried to stop you from taking a particular course of action.
Step 4
Ask yourself truthfully what you could have done differently that would have resulted in a better outcome. Be thorough because it may only be a little thing but it could make all the difference in the future.
Step 5
Identify what anyone else involved could have done differently and what you could have done to help them to do so. Be prepared to admit where you were at fault including by maybe just standing by and letting something happen.
Step 6
Define what the best outcome would have been for everyone concerned.
Step 7
Having followed the steps so far, now write a plan for how you would achieve the desired outcome in the event of the incident occurring today. Be clear and concise in the steps you would take and how you would interact with anyone else involved.
Step 8
Write a list of all the things you have learned by carrying out this exercise. Once again you must ensure you are honest with yourself and don't ignore things that might be less then palatable to you.
Step 9
Identify how the things you have learned can help you to achieve the goals you have and what additional things you need. Establish clearly what you have learned about your strengths and weaknesses and how you can act upon them.
Step 10
Write a clear plan as to what you are going to do in order to put to use what you have learned. Only by setting and following well thought out, well-planned, and written goals will you achieve what you want in life.
We all make mistakes and get things wrong but by having a genuine desire to learn from the events in the past you can truly take advantage and move forward. Don't let the mistakes of your past spoil your future.
This article was written by Tony Hall who runs his own business dedicated to helping individuals develop their personal and business skills. You can learn more about how to develop your own life skills and get your complimentary copy of "The Process of Success" by signing up for his weekly newsletter at:
http://www.selfimprovementskills.com/newsletter.html
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tony_Hall
he 10 Steps to Learning From Your Past Mistakes
I've written before about how I strongly believe that in life you should have no regrets. Quite simply you cannot change what has gone before so why waste time regretting what you cannot alter? But that's not to say that you should ignore the things you have done in the past that went wrong or those occasions when you made mistakes. Instead you should always be prepared to learn from them and so take something positive from all of your experiences.
So I'm going to ask you to look back, just for a moment. Bring to mind something from your past where things went wrong or you believe you made a mistake or failed to achieve what you wanted to do. It may even be that something continues to play on your mind and so possibly prevents you from doing today the things that you really desire. You may have to go back to your childhood or it could just as easily be something that happened in the last week that it is still really bugging you.
Whatever it is be open and honest with yourself and then follow these 10 simple steps:
Step 1
Write down exactly what happened with as much detail as you can. Be precise and try not to let any feelings you have about the incident cause you to edit or leave out important facts.
Step 2
Define what part you had in the incident. What actions did you take, were they deliberate acts, or were they things you were persuaded or even forced to do by someone else?
Step 3
Define who else was involved and what they actually did. It's important to be completely honest and, for instance, identify whether someone may have prevented you from doing something or perhaps tried to stop you from taking a particular course of action.
Step 4
Ask yourself truthfully what you could have done differently that would have resulted in a better outcome. Be thorough because it may only be a little thing but it could make all the difference in the future.
Step 5
Identify what anyone else involved could have done differently and what you could have done to help them to do so. Be prepared to admit where you were at fault including by maybe just standing by and letting something happen.
Step 6
Define what the best outcome would have been for everyone concerned.
Step 7
Having followed the steps so far, now write a plan for how you would achieve the desired outcome in the event of the incident occurring today. Be clear and concise in the steps you would take and how you would interact with anyone else involved.
Step 8
Write a list of all the things you have learned by carrying out this exercise. Once again you must ensure you are honest with yourself and don't ignore things that might be less then palatable to you.
Step 9
Identify how the things you have learned can help you to achieve the goals you have and what additional things you need. Establish clearly what you have learned about your strengths and weaknesses and how you can act upon them.
Step 10
Write a clear plan as to what you are going to do in order to put to use what you have learned. Only by setting and following well thought out, well-planned, and written goals will you achieve what you want in life.
We all make mistakes and get things wrong but by having a genuine desire to learn from the events in the past you can truly take advantage and move forward. Don't let the mistakes of your past spoil your future.
This article was written by Tony Hall who runs his own business dedicated to helping individuals develop their personal and business skills. You can learn more about how to develop your own life skills and get your complimentary copy of "The Process of Success" by signing up for his weekly newsletter at:
http://www.selfimprovementskills.com/newsletter.html
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tony_Hall
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Creating Your Vision
Creating Your Vision
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one" Albert Einstein
I feel that one of the most important ingredients in your formula for success is having a clearly defined and vivid vision of where you want to be. At first the “how” is not that important, you need to create a vision that gets you so excited that you develop the mentality that you will stop at nothing to get what you want. Many people first focus on the how than very quickly find themselves overwhelmed with too many details and just as quickly talk them selves out of pursuing their goals. You have to take a leap of faith and trust that the how will be shown to you as you go along. Do you remember the days as a kid with dreams of epic proportions? What happened those dreams? You got older and domesticated by a society that says that having those dreams is foolish. That’s nonsense, why wouldn’t you want to accomplish the things that even as a kid you knew would make you happy. I encourage you to dream like you once used to.
“Shoot for the moon…even if you
Miss you’ll still be amongst them stars”- Beanie Sigel(rap artist)
One way I keep myself motivated and keep my vision alive is through my picture book. In my book I have everything that I want and every morning I look at it to remind me what I want in life. Go right now and get some magazines and cut out every picture of the things you want and places you want to visit, don’t be thinking if you can actually get those things now, dare to dream. Remember your mind thinks in pictures, look at your picture book until in becomes as vivid as possible in the theater of your mind. Your mind cant tell the difference between something you remember or something you experience in real time.
Visualization Exercises(meditation):
(Please read this whole section, I will explain why almost all self help fails to produce the results people want)
You can think of meditation as conscious sleeping. Just as you sleep to gain energy for your daily functioning, meditation is conscious sleeping that gives you all the energy(creative abilities) you need for what you intend to accomplish.
I also use lucid dreaming as another way to increase creativity, I will soon write a hub on lucid dreaming.(Lucid dreaming is when you actually become aware in your dream that you are dreaming, once properly trained you can control your dreams)
Use the power of meditation to help you achieve your goals. Strive to everyday meditate one minute for each year of your current age. I am 24, so everyday I try and meditate at least 24 minutes. If you are new to meditation check out this website on transcendental meditation .There are many techniques find something that feels good to you.
Quantum Mind Power
Daily Routine:
1. Pick a nice comfortable place where to meditate. Have an intention on what you plan to meditate on before hand. Ex. A destination you want to visit.
2. Find a comfortable position to sit. Sitting on a chair or on the floor, does not really matter as long as it is comfortable for you.
3. Cross your legs, clasp your hands together.(this helps make your own energy circuit and gives stability)
4.Close your eyes, than stop inner and outer chatter.
5. Relax, begin thinking that your whole body is becoming extremely relaxed.
6. Eyes should be closed.
7. You will notice that your mind is full of many thoughts. Your mind will than begin to ask questions to those thoughts and try and come up with answers whether they are known or unknown. This is why your mind(ego) can be your enemy if it mostly thinks in negative terms.
8. You will need to transcend your mind and thoughts in order to meditate. Your mind and thoughts are what separate you from your higher self, you can also think of your higher self as your subconscious mind don't worry about the labels.
9. You transcend your mind by simply observing your breath. Don't inhale/exhale consciously just observe your natural breathing. Don't go behind your thoughts, if you catch your self drifting just always come back to your breathing. Slowly the amount of thoughts reduces and your breathing becomes thinner and shorter. If you are able to keep all your focus on your breath, you will get to the point of no thought and no breath. This state of no thought is your connection to your divine being and energy body. The more you meditate the more benefits and energy that you will receive. Your own self awareness and consciousness will also expand.
10. You will feel a very pleasurable feeling meditating. If you feel any discomfort in your body these can be possible areas of disease or illness. If you meditate everyday you will heal your body naturally.
11. Now that you are in a state of no thought and total relaxation. Begin to think only on your intention. Remember whatever you think now is in a state that will be impregnated directly into your subconscious. It is incredibly important that you don't color any of your thoughts with any lack,limitation,dis belief or doubt. This is why almost all self help material does not produce the results people expect. Wishing for more money(or anything else) never works, the thought of wanting more money also has the thought of doubt attached to it. Ask your self how many thoughts that you think about have been modified in a way that is not beneficial to you. You just never realize that you are programming your sub conscious all day. This is why meditation is so powerful. You are able to make suggestions to your subconscious where the thought is not modified in any way shape or form. So if you want to make things happen fast you need to get rid of the concept of attaching time to yourthoughts. You have to remember that everything you get in your life comes based on the conditions that you set up and time is usually one condition that cuases the most frustration with people. Just as a computer programmer gives a computer instructions to complete a task, you program the most powerful computer you have which is your subconscious. Your conscious mind acts as the gate keeper as to what thoughts you let in. Now that you know this choose to become more aware and conscious about what you think all day long. Learn to see the world in a non linear way, remove time from your consiousness and watch how things show up in your life faster than you ever thought.
Thoughts = feelings = actions = results (just like that you can begin to shape your life)
12. Mentally rehearse every moment of it with all your senses. Dare to be like Peter Pan :)
13. Visualize in vivid detail, your intention as established fact. Also make sure you meditate only on days you feel good. Remember you want your thoughts to be as pure as possible. This also means that you really find out what you want, make sure its not something you want solely for ego purposes. Thoughts that involve the ego are usually always colored with negativity.
14. With time you will begin to be able to hold vivid pictures of anything(you will develop you third eye). The more you are able to hold onto an image in your mind the more power you give it.
15. Get up and go have a great day :) notice how much energy you have the rest of the day. As you advance in your discipline, you will have a lot of fun basically creating your day before it starts.
Beliefs:
To start making that vision a reality you will have to change some of your beliefs and adopt beliefs that will help you reach your goals. Because if you have this great vision of you retiring on your own private beach but deep down you don’t believe you can do it, you have already sabotaged yourself. Your desire and your belief are in conflict with each other and therefore you will not manifest what it is that you want into your life. If you want to be a good leader one day but you currently have the belief that you are a shy person, it will not happen. You need to truly make a decision to adopt the belief that you are really outgoing. When you truly decide to do something you will find a way to do it.
“Nothing happens unless first a dream” – Carl Sandburg
Some Ways to shape your beliefs:
1. Always think Success- as soon as you think about failure forget about it and don’t let anymore negative thoughts snowball. The more attention you give a thought the more powerful it will become than you will make it harder for yourself to get back to a productive mind state. The only way to change how you feel is to think about something else. Whenever you feel doubt, fear, and failure creeping into your mind have a default thought that you can use to avoid giving attention to mental poison. As soon as I feel I am entertaining thoughts of negativity I immediately begin to think about relaxing on a beach and affirm to myself that “I attract abundance to all areas of my life”. The more I try and have the feelings of being on the beach with no worries and remind myself that I am in complete control of how I feel, I immediately feel the negativity begin to melt away as I begin to focus on my new positive thought.
2. Develop the belief that you are better than you currently feel- don’t look at your weaknesses as a burden but as an opportunity to improve your self. When I find something I don’t like about my personality I don’t get down on myself for it, I just realize that now I have something I can work on to make myself better. Most importantly love and accept who you are, not who you will or should be.
3. Believe that sky’s the limit- if you have little goals you will have little success, the bigger your dreams the more potential for your possible success. Even If you think your dream is too big, strive to reach that dream, because you will end up at a better place than if you would have set your sights on a smaller goal. The trick is to really believe you can do it, this just isn’t wishful thinking. Wishful thinking never got anyone anything, you need to find out what you want and get out there and get it. If you really want that house on the beach your mind will come up with ways to help you get it.(develop faith in your self)
How to remove junk beliefs:
1. Meditate on your old belief and tell the truth about it. Now replace it with a belief that will better serve you. Meditate on it until you feel you have changed that belief.
Now when you accept these beliefs it means you will have to raise your standards and develop a strategy that will put you on the road to accomplish what you set forth. Do whatever you have to do. Read any books that will spark your interest or help you discover any distinctions that will point you in the right direction. Find a role model, a person who has already accomplished what you want. Find out what some of their beliefs, interests, body language, image, etc. is and adopt them as your own. Your role model can serve as a blue print, the goal is to cut down on the trial and error so you can get where you want faster than you ever thought possible. You can take all the qualities from all the people you admire and add your own personal touch. Just think of if it as if you are trying to build the person you want and know you can be. Thomas Edison is one of the greatest inventors in history, he was able to elaborate, modify and adapt on other peoples ideas. You don’t have torecreate the wheel just constantly be aware of any success ingredients you come across and make them part of your identity. Think of your mind as a warehouse the more you learn and store will eventually serve as an inventory for future reference, which will breed new ideas and perspectives.
Consistency is key we are all creatures of patterns and habits. In order to become the person you desire to be, start by changing your patterns. Think of all the quality traits you must possess, make a pattern which uses those traits efficiently than strive to be consistent. Consistency will develop into habits and this is key because if you fail to be consistent with your actions you will not be consistent with who you desire to be. This lack of confusion between your actions and what your mind knows you are capable of leads to tremendous amounts of stress, confusion, and even depression. Many other consequences also come from a lack of consistency.
This is why awareness of self is critical; you need to be constantly evaluating your self. Decide if the persona you are currently displaying is the reality that you want for yourself,because with enough time thats what your reality will become.
Thank you for reading my hub, I love to hear anyones opinion or suggestions. Good luck to everyone.
http://www.howtogetyourshineon.com
by: Ivan Campuzano
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one" Albert Einstein
I feel that one of the most important ingredients in your formula for success is having a clearly defined and vivid vision of where you want to be. At first the “how” is not that important, you need to create a vision that gets you so excited that you develop the mentality that you will stop at nothing to get what you want. Many people first focus on the how than very quickly find themselves overwhelmed with too many details and just as quickly talk them selves out of pursuing their goals. You have to take a leap of faith and trust that the how will be shown to you as you go along. Do you remember the days as a kid with dreams of epic proportions? What happened those dreams? You got older and domesticated by a society that says that having those dreams is foolish. That’s nonsense, why wouldn’t you want to accomplish the things that even as a kid you knew would make you happy. I encourage you to dream like you once used to.
“Shoot for the moon…even if you
Miss you’ll still be amongst them stars”- Beanie Sigel(rap artist)
One way I keep myself motivated and keep my vision alive is through my picture book. In my book I have everything that I want and every morning I look at it to remind me what I want in life. Go right now and get some magazines and cut out every picture of the things you want and places you want to visit, don’t be thinking if you can actually get those things now, dare to dream. Remember your mind thinks in pictures, look at your picture book until in becomes as vivid as possible in the theater of your mind. Your mind cant tell the difference between something you remember or something you experience in real time.
Visualization Exercises(meditation):
(Please read this whole section, I will explain why almost all self help fails to produce the results people want)
You can think of meditation as conscious sleeping. Just as you sleep to gain energy for your daily functioning, meditation is conscious sleeping that gives you all the energy(creative abilities) you need for what you intend to accomplish.
I also use lucid dreaming as another way to increase creativity, I will soon write a hub on lucid dreaming.(Lucid dreaming is when you actually become aware in your dream that you are dreaming, once properly trained you can control your dreams)
Use the power of meditation to help you achieve your goals. Strive to everyday meditate one minute for each year of your current age. I am 24, so everyday I try and meditate at least 24 minutes. If you are new to meditation check out this website on transcendental meditation .There are many techniques find something that feels good to you.
Quantum Mind Power
Daily Routine:
1. Pick a nice comfortable place where to meditate. Have an intention on what you plan to meditate on before hand. Ex. A destination you want to visit.
2. Find a comfortable position to sit. Sitting on a chair or on the floor, does not really matter as long as it is comfortable for you.
3. Cross your legs, clasp your hands together.(this helps make your own energy circuit and gives stability)
4.Close your eyes, than stop inner and outer chatter.
5. Relax, begin thinking that your whole body is becoming extremely relaxed.
6. Eyes should be closed.
7. You will notice that your mind is full of many thoughts. Your mind will than begin to ask questions to those thoughts and try and come up with answers whether they are known or unknown. This is why your mind(ego) can be your enemy if it mostly thinks in negative terms.
8. You will need to transcend your mind and thoughts in order to meditate. Your mind and thoughts are what separate you from your higher self, you can also think of your higher self as your subconscious mind don't worry about the labels.
9. You transcend your mind by simply observing your breath. Don't inhale/exhale consciously just observe your natural breathing. Don't go behind your thoughts, if you catch your self drifting just always come back to your breathing. Slowly the amount of thoughts reduces and your breathing becomes thinner and shorter. If you are able to keep all your focus on your breath, you will get to the point of no thought and no breath. This state of no thought is your connection to your divine being and energy body. The more you meditate the more benefits and energy that you will receive. Your own self awareness and consciousness will also expand.
10. You will feel a very pleasurable feeling meditating. If you feel any discomfort in your body these can be possible areas of disease or illness. If you meditate everyday you will heal your body naturally.
11. Now that you are in a state of no thought and total relaxation. Begin to think only on your intention. Remember whatever you think now is in a state that will be impregnated directly into your subconscious. It is incredibly important that you don't color any of your thoughts with any lack,limitation,dis belief or doubt. This is why almost all self help material does not produce the results people expect. Wishing for more money(or anything else) never works, the thought of wanting more money also has the thought of doubt attached to it. Ask your self how many thoughts that you think about have been modified in a way that is not beneficial to you. You just never realize that you are programming your sub conscious all day. This is why meditation is so powerful. You are able to make suggestions to your subconscious where the thought is not modified in any way shape or form. So if you want to make things happen fast you need to get rid of the concept of attaching time to yourthoughts. You have to remember that everything you get in your life comes based on the conditions that you set up and time is usually one condition that cuases the most frustration with people. Just as a computer programmer gives a computer instructions to complete a task, you program the most powerful computer you have which is your subconscious. Your conscious mind acts as the gate keeper as to what thoughts you let in. Now that you know this choose to become more aware and conscious about what you think all day long. Learn to see the world in a non linear way, remove time from your consiousness and watch how things show up in your life faster than you ever thought.
Thoughts = feelings = actions = results (just like that you can begin to shape your life)
12. Mentally rehearse every moment of it with all your senses. Dare to be like Peter Pan :)
13. Visualize in vivid detail, your intention as established fact. Also make sure you meditate only on days you feel good. Remember you want your thoughts to be as pure as possible. This also means that you really find out what you want, make sure its not something you want solely for ego purposes. Thoughts that involve the ego are usually always colored with negativity.
14. With time you will begin to be able to hold vivid pictures of anything(you will develop you third eye). The more you are able to hold onto an image in your mind the more power you give it.
15. Get up and go have a great day :) notice how much energy you have the rest of the day. As you advance in your discipline, you will have a lot of fun basically creating your day before it starts.
Beliefs:
To start making that vision a reality you will have to change some of your beliefs and adopt beliefs that will help you reach your goals. Because if you have this great vision of you retiring on your own private beach but deep down you don’t believe you can do it, you have already sabotaged yourself. Your desire and your belief are in conflict with each other and therefore you will not manifest what it is that you want into your life. If you want to be a good leader one day but you currently have the belief that you are a shy person, it will not happen. You need to truly make a decision to adopt the belief that you are really outgoing. When you truly decide to do something you will find a way to do it.
“Nothing happens unless first a dream” – Carl Sandburg
Some Ways to shape your beliefs:
1. Always think Success- as soon as you think about failure forget about it and don’t let anymore negative thoughts snowball. The more attention you give a thought the more powerful it will become than you will make it harder for yourself to get back to a productive mind state. The only way to change how you feel is to think about something else. Whenever you feel doubt, fear, and failure creeping into your mind have a default thought that you can use to avoid giving attention to mental poison. As soon as I feel I am entertaining thoughts of negativity I immediately begin to think about relaxing on a beach and affirm to myself that “I attract abundance to all areas of my life”. The more I try and have the feelings of being on the beach with no worries and remind myself that I am in complete control of how I feel, I immediately feel the negativity begin to melt away as I begin to focus on my new positive thought.
2. Develop the belief that you are better than you currently feel- don’t look at your weaknesses as a burden but as an opportunity to improve your self. When I find something I don’t like about my personality I don’t get down on myself for it, I just realize that now I have something I can work on to make myself better. Most importantly love and accept who you are, not who you will or should be.
3. Believe that sky’s the limit- if you have little goals you will have little success, the bigger your dreams the more potential for your possible success. Even If you think your dream is too big, strive to reach that dream, because you will end up at a better place than if you would have set your sights on a smaller goal. The trick is to really believe you can do it, this just isn’t wishful thinking. Wishful thinking never got anyone anything, you need to find out what you want and get out there and get it. If you really want that house on the beach your mind will come up with ways to help you get it.(develop faith in your self)
How to remove junk beliefs:
1. Meditate on your old belief and tell the truth about it. Now replace it with a belief that will better serve you. Meditate on it until you feel you have changed that belief.
Now when you accept these beliefs it means you will have to raise your standards and develop a strategy that will put you on the road to accomplish what you set forth. Do whatever you have to do. Read any books that will spark your interest or help you discover any distinctions that will point you in the right direction. Find a role model, a person who has already accomplished what you want. Find out what some of their beliefs, interests, body language, image, etc. is and adopt them as your own. Your role model can serve as a blue print, the goal is to cut down on the trial and error so you can get where you want faster than you ever thought possible. You can take all the qualities from all the people you admire and add your own personal touch. Just think of if it as if you are trying to build the person you want and know you can be. Thomas Edison is one of the greatest inventors in history, he was able to elaborate, modify and adapt on other peoples ideas. You don’t have torecreate the wheel just constantly be aware of any success ingredients you come across and make them part of your identity. Think of your mind as a warehouse the more you learn and store will eventually serve as an inventory for future reference, which will breed new ideas and perspectives.
Consistency is key we are all creatures of patterns and habits. In order to become the person you desire to be, start by changing your patterns. Think of all the quality traits you must possess, make a pattern which uses those traits efficiently than strive to be consistent. Consistency will develop into habits and this is key because if you fail to be consistent with your actions you will not be consistent with who you desire to be. This lack of confusion between your actions and what your mind knows you are capable of leads to tremendous amounts of stress, confusion, and even depression. Many other consequences also come from a lack of consistency.
This is why awareness of self is critical; you need to be constantly evaluating your self. Decide if the persona you are currently displaying is the reality that you want for yourself,because with enough time thats what your reality will become.
Thank you for reading my hub, I love to hear anyones opinion or suggestions. Good luck to everyone.
http://www.howtogetyourshineon.com
by: Ivan Campuzano
I Think I Can. I Think I Can. Can I?
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I think I can. I think I can. Can I?
Your mental train ticket to self-empowerment
We all find ourselves at certain points in our lives holding first class tickets to negative mental trains of thought. Michele Wahlder (MS, LPC, PCC), a two-time cancer survivor and Dallas, Texas-based Certified Life Coach and Psychotherapist, has placed thousands of people on the right track to self-empowerment via a plan she calls the 5 C Process. The journey challenges individuals to:
One
Clarify Current View – Where are you now- honestly?
Conscious awareness of your current view is the first step in becoming the best you can be. Getting clear about how your life aligns with your values, talents and unique gifts is vital to your happiness. You need to know where you are in order to learn where you want to go.
You can clarify your current view by completing a review of eight life areas. Be honest with yourself about how happy are you with your profession, finances, health and overall well-being, primary relationships, personal development, spirituality, environment, hobbies, etc.
Two
Connect with Your Highest Vision – Where do you want to be?
Example: A client of mine, a yoga instructor, decided she was happy teaching but wanted to contribute to the world on a larger level. She wasn’t happy with the quality of the yoga clothing that was accessible to her and her fellow yogis. Her vision was to design and create fun, hip and timeless yoga clothes using eco-conscious fabrics.
You have to get really clear about what you want. It is crucial that you connect to your highest vision of yourself because you can’t create it unless you are clear about what it looks like. If you don’t have a vision of where you want to go or what you want to be, you will most likely NOT get there. To quote Henrietta Klauser, “If you have a connection to what you want, take the next step and write it down.” If you don’t have any idea about what you want, or how you want to be in life to bring about greater happiness, begin looking through magazines and create a Vision Board/Collage of what attracts you. You may also want to consider getting an outside perspective from a friend or a professional coach. I take my clients through a guided imagery that gives them a glimpse of what their future could look like. There are also books that can help guide you. Just get help assessing your talents, divine gifts and abilities and then determine how you want to use them more fully in the world. We can’t help others as fully, if we are not aware of how we can best serve. So instead of thinking of it as selfish to engage in knowing yourself better, I would suggest you consider it selfish to hold back and not be the best you can be. Only in this way, can we help the world and others.
Three
Create Inspiring Goals – How will you get there?
Example: My client created a tiered plan of what needed to happen step by step – outer goal. All of this was influenced by her inner goal of keeping a measured pace and a balanced life. Her goal was to enjoy the process.
You have to create a plan and take specific actions to get you from where you are now to where you want to be. When most people write goals, they just write a list of action steps, usually external actions. I believe it is more powerful to have inner and outer goals. An outer goal is what you want. For instance, you might think, “I want a new house”. An inner goal is more focused on the how. How will a new home benefit me and my family? Will it offer more common gathering areas, a larger kitchen so that we can cook together, etc.? How can I appreciate what I have now until I get this home? How can I make this a joyful experience rather than a stressful one? If you can not be grateful for what you have now, then when you get a new home, it will only create very short-term happiness for you. Then, you will be focused on the next external illusion of happiness. For 2008, I suggest taking at least three of the life areas I mentioned earlier and jot down how you couldbenefit from living your highest vision in each area. Next, add action steps toward your desired achievements along with completion dates.
Four
Clear Obstacles – How will you remove obstacles in your way?
We all have dreams and visions for our life, but frankly, there are many things that can get in the way. The two most common obstacles I see with my clients are:
The inability to say NO— In order to bridge the gap from your current view to your highest vision, you have to make room for what “Could Be”. If your life is full and you want to add more of the things that are truly important in your life, you should start the change process by making room first. You must say no to some things in your life, so you can say yes to what is most important. You have to give up the destructive habits, behaviors and activities to make room for new ones.
A metaphor would be a water hose watering a flowering plant. The water in the hose is your life force and the flowering plant is what you are trying to grow in your life. If the water hose has leaks, it will not have enough water or life force/energy to reach its desired outcome or vision (to grow the plant into full bloom). Examples of leaks might include toxic friendships, unrealistic expectations, watching too much television, eating sugar, overspending, negative relational patterns with your spouse or working on an outdated job.
Example: A client’s obstacle here was that her 8- year-old daughter needed caring for and she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to be a good mother plus jumpstart a successful, new business. We remedied this issue by getting clear on the proper definition of a good mother. Also, practically speaking, she needed help picking up her daughter from school. So she got her husband to assist her in this area so she would have time to create this new business.
Negative self-talk—Research shows we have approximately 50,000 internal messages we say to ourselves daily. We are constantly walking around having conversations with ourselves. And it is what we say that makes all the difference in the overall quality of our lives.
Example: I was once in Starbucks, and I watched this woman spill her coffee while reaching for a sugar packet and I heard her say out loud, “I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I did that.”
Now, I just happen to hear her, but this is an example of something you might say internally as well. You might think, “No big deal. I say things like this to myself all the time.” Well, IT IS A BIG DEAL as our subconscious hears these messages and acts on them as if they were real. Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t want someone else saying to you.
Think of self-talk like mental fuel. Now, imagine filling your car with dirty water. We all know you wouldn’t get very far. Now, take that same car and fill it with high quality gasoline. You’ll most likely reach your destination. It is the same with people and the words we use. If the words are negative and toxic, we will sputter along with low energy and our performance suffers. If our words are positive and tender, we will feel confident, energized, encouraged and will most likely meet our goals faster and easier. Here are some key things to remember if you ever find yourself preparing to board the train of BAD self-talk:
B– stands for belittling self-talk. Stop telling yourself, “I am not good enough.” If your dream is to have a healthy self-confidence, which of the following examples is more likely to get your there:
A. “I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I did that.”
B. “Whoops, mistakes happen.”
Can you see how the Answer B is much kinder?
A – stands for awfulizing. Stop predicting a future filled with gloom and doom, and dwelling on scary thoughts. If you dream of obtaining a career you love, which of the following will move you closer to your vision:
A. “I did terribly on my interview, I’ll never find a job I like.”
B. “I will answer that question on past employment differently next time and I will ace it! I know I will one day have the job I love.”
Can you see how Answer B places you in the mindset of a successful job search?
D – stands for deceiving. This is when you deceive yourself into thinking you are a victim, and that other people are to blame for your circumstances. If we want a happy relationship which will of the below responses will aid in achieving this goal:
A. “If my spouse would only do more around the house, then I would be happy.”
B. “I can and will choose happiness today, no matter what my spouse does.”
Answer B is the right choice, wouldn’t you agree?
S – stands for shoulding – This is when you give yourself a lot of shoulds, musts, and ought tos, then beat yourself up for not living up to unrealistic standards. Say your dream is to be in top physical condition, which will further that:
A. “I should have eaten a salad for lunch instead of that big ol’ hamburger. I’m such a pig!”
B. “I could have eaten a salad, but I chose not to. Tomorrow I will make healthier choices.”
The second choice is so much more inspiring, don’t you think?
Five
Commit to Action – Are you willing to do what it takes?
The final step of the 5 C Process is to commit to action. How many times have we all made plans and never carried them out, or started off excited and lost motivation? No one ever does anything great alone. We all need encouragement and support from others including an accountability partner who is willing to help hold the vision of the person you want to be. In the previous example of my client, her biggest negative self-talk was how to be a good mom and a good business woman. Her thoughts were, “If I don’t pick up my child every day from school, I am a bad mother.” Instead, we replaced it with, “Picking up my child from school daily is not what makes me a good mother. I am, indeed, a fabulous mother.”
Here are the four action steps that have been proven to help you eliminate your negative self talk:
• Become aware of your negative messages –listen to voice in head
• Stop! You have to stop immediately if you find yourself dwelling on any negative thoughts
• Replace negative thoughts with a kinder alternatives
• Practice. It takes a commitment of time in order to turn a pattern of negative thinking into a more positive train of thought.
This interview was referenced by http://www.chinika.com. To learn more about Michele’s 5 C Process and her upcoming seminars, please call 214 -823-LIFE ( 5433), or visit her Web site at http://www.michelewahlder.com Once there, you will also be able to download a free workbook containing strategies on how to obtain a positive outlook on life.
by: Michele Wahlder
Your mental train ticket to self-empowerment
We all find ourselves at certain points in our lives holding first class tickets to negative mental trains of thought. Michele Wahlder (MS, LPC, PCC), a two-time cancer survivor and Dallas, Texas-based Certified Life Coach and Psychotherapist, has placed thousands of people on the right track to self-empowerment via a plan she calls the 5 C Process. The journey challenges individuals to:
One
Clarify Current View – Where are you now- honestly?
Conscious awareness of your current view is the first step in becoming the best you can be. Getting clear about how your life aligns with your values, talents and unique gifts is vital to your happiness. You need to know where you are in order to learn where you want to go.
You can clarify your current view by completing a review of eight life areas. Be honest with yourself about how happy are you with your profession, finances, health and overall well-being, primary relationships, personal development, spirituality, environment, hobbies, etc.
Two
Connect with Your Highest Vision – Where do you want to be?
Example: A client of mine, a yoga instructor, decided she was happy teaching but wanted to contribute to the world on a larger level. She wasn’t happy with the quality of the yoga clothing that was accessible to her and her fellow yogis. Her vision was to design and create fun, hip and timeless yoga clothes using eco-conscious fabrics.
You have to get really clear about what you want. It is crucial that you connect to your highest vision of yourself because you can’t create it unless you are clear about what it looks like. If you don’t have a vision of where you want to go or what you want to be, you will most likely NOT get there. To quote Henrietta Klauser, “If you have a connection to what you want, take the next step and write it down.” If you don’t have any idea about what you want, or how you want to be in life to bring about greater happiness, begin looking through magazines and create a Vision Board/Collage of what attracts you. You may also want to consider getting an outside perspective from a friend or a professional coach. I take my clients through a guided imagery that gives them a glimpse of what their future could look like. There are also books that can help guide you. Just get help assessing your talents, divine gifts and abilities and then determine how you want to use them more fully in the world. We can’t help others as fully, if we are not aware of how we can best serve. So instead of thinking of it as selfish to engage in knowing yourself better, I would suggest you consider it selfish to hold back and not be the best you can be. Only in this way, can we help the world and others.
Three
Create Inspiring Goals – How will you get there?
Example: My client created a tiered plan of what needed to happen step by step – outer goal. All of this was influenced by her inner goal of keeping a measured pace and a balanced life. Her goal was to enjoy the process.
You have to create a plan and take specific actions to get you from where you are now to where you want to be. When most people write goals, they just write a list of action steps, usually external actions. I believe it is more powerful to have inner and outer goals. An outer goal is what you want. For instance, you might think, “I want a new house”. An inner goal is more focused on the how. How will a new home benefit me and my family? Will it offer more common gathering areas, a larger kitchen so that we can cook together, etc.? How can I appreciate what I have now until I get this home? How can I make this a joyful experience rather than a stressful one? If you can not be grateful for what you have now, then when you get a new home, it will only create very short-term happiness for you. Then, you will be focused on the next external illusion of happiness. For 2008, I suggest taking at least three of the life areas I mentioned earlier and jot down how you couldbenefit from living your highest vision in each area. Next, add action steps toward your desired achievements along with completion dates.
Four
Clear Obstacles – How will you remove obstacles in your way?
We all have dreams and visions for our life, but frankly, there are many things that can get in the way. The two most common obstacles I see with my clients are:
The inability to say NO— In order to bridge the gap from your current view to your highest vision, you have to make room for what “Could Be”. If your life is full and you want to add more of the things that are truly important in your life, you should start the change process by making room first. You must say no to some things in your life, so you can say yes to what is most important. You have to give up the destructive habits, behaviors and activities to make room for new ones.
A metaphor would be a water hose watering a flowering plant. The water in the hose is your life force and the flowering plant is what you are trying to grow in your life. If the water hose has leaks, it will not have enough water or life force/energy to reach its desired outcome or vision (to grow the plant into full bloom). Examples of leaks might include toxic friendships, unrealistic expectations, watching too much television, eating sugar, overspending, negative relational patterns with your spouse or working on an outdated job.
Example: A client’s obstacle here was that her 8- year-old daughter needed caring for and she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to be a good mother plus jumpstart a successful, new business. We remedied this issue by getting clear on the proper definition of a good mother. Also, practically speaking, she needed help picking up her daughter from school. So she got her husband to assist her in this area so she would have time to create this new business.
Negative self-talk—Research shows we have approximately 50,000 internal messages we say to ourselves daily. We are constantly walking around having conversations with ourselves. And it is what we say that makes all the difference in the overall quality of our lives.
Example: I was once in Starbucks, and I watched this woman spill her coffee while reaching for a sugar packet and I heard her say out loud, “I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I did that.”
Now, I just happen to hear her, but this is an example of something you might say internally as well. You might think, “No big deal. I say things like this to myself all the time.” Well, IT IS A BIG DEAL as our subconscious hears these messages and acts on them as if they were real. Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t want someone else saying to you.
Think of self-talk like mental fuel. Now, imagine filling your car with dirty water. We all know you wouldn’t get very far. Now, take that same car and fill it with high quality gasoline. You’ll most likely reach your destination. It is the same with people and the words we use. If the words are negative and toxic, we will sputter along with low energy and our performance suffers. If our words are positive and tender, we will feel confident, energized, encouraged and will most likely meet our goals faster and easier. Here are some key things to remember if you ever find yourself preparing to board the train of BAD self-talk:
B– stands for belittling self-talk. Stop telling yourself, “I am not good enough.” If your dream is to have a healthy self-confidence, which of the following examples is more likely to get your there:
A. “I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I did that.”
B. “Whoops, mistakes happen.”
Can you see how the Answer B is much kinder?
A – stands for awfulizing. Stop predicting a future filled with gloom and doom, and dwelling on scary thoughts. If you dream of obtaining a career you love, which of the following will move you closer to your vision:
A. “I did terribly on my interview, I’ll never find a job I like.”
B. “I will answer that question on past employment differently next time and I will ace it! I know I will one day have the job I love.”
Can you see how Answer B places you in the mindset of a successful job search?
D – stands for deceiving. This is when you deceive yourself into thinking you are a victim, and that other people are to blame for your circumstances. If we want a happy relationship which will of the below responses will aid in achieving this goal:
A. “If my spouse would only do more around the house, then I would be happy.”
B. “I can and will choose happiness today, no matter what my spouse does.”
Answer B is the right choice, wouldn’t you agree?
S – stands for shoulding – This is when you give yourself a lot of shoulds, musts, and ought tos, then beat yourself up for not living up to unrealistic standards. Say your dream is to be in top physical condition, which will further that:
A. “I should have eaten a salad for lunch instead of that big ol’ hamburger. I’m such a pig!”
B. “I could have eaten a salad, but I chose not to. Tomorrow I will make healthier choices.”
The second choice is so much more inspiring, don’t you think?
Five
Commit to Action – Are you willing to do what it takes?
The final step of the 5 C Process is to commit to action. How many times have we all made plans and never carried them out, or started off excited and lost motivation? No one ever does anything great alone. We all need encouragement and support from others including an accountability partner who is willing to help hold the vision of the person you want to be. In the previous example of my client, her biggest negative self-talk was how to be a good mom and a good business woman. Her thoughts were, “If I don’t pick up my child every day from school, I am a bad mother.” Instead, we replaced it with, “Picking up my child from school daily is not what makes me a good mother. I am, indeed, a fabulous mother.”
Here are the four action steps that have been proven to help you eliminate your negative self talk:
• Become aware of your negative messages –listen to voice in head
• Stop! You have to stop immediately if you find yourself dwelling on any negative thoughts
• Replace negative thoughts with a kinder alternatives
• Practice. It takes a commitment of time in order to turn a pattern of negative thinking into a more positive train of thought.
This interview was referenced by http://www.chinika.com. To learn more about Michele’s 5 C Process and her upcoming seminars, please call 214 -823-LIFE ( 5433), or visit her Web site at http://www.michelewahlder.com Once there, you will also be able to download a free workbook containing strategies on how to obtain a positive outlook on life.
by: Michele Wahlder
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